July 30 2025 - "My Family, Happy Family"

Today, July 30, 2025, I had the opportunity to attend Pujya Dr. Gnanvatsal Swamiji's session @ Brunswick, GA, which is located south of Savannah (around 75 miles away). The session was based on the topic of "My Family, Happy Family" - Think Different, Be Different & Succeed Different

I had gotten the honor of listening to one of his speeches earlier this year @ JAINA '25, Chicago (A story for a different day). The way he articulated things, his analogies, real-world examples & the personal connection with the masses on the topic of - "Unity in Diversity - A Path to Peace", which happens to be the theme of this years JAINA was truly impressive along with the concept of - Spiritual Intelligence - drew me closer.

My day at work, today was busy today, meetings got extended, I had planned to leave at 4:00, it was 5:00, and I was still in the conference room, I was almost on the verge of cancelling the trip. However, there was something which pushed me, I quickly reset, got ready for the ride & hit the road by 5:15

The drive took around 1:15 minutes, once I took I-95 S, it was pretty straight for about 65 miles. I-95 like always was fun, but more than usual as this was the first time I was taking my own car - Honda Civic 8642 for an outstation trip, in the past it has always been rentals or MSI - car. It was different this time. The venue for the event was a Gym, which the Hindu Community of Brunswick had booked.  

I joined them, when Swamiji was talking about how Bill Campbell, in his book "The Trillion Dollar Coach" says - Team Dynamics is the key to the success of any Enterprise or Family.

I loved the definition of Family as expressed by him. He says, one should think of family in this way:

1. We are a divine unit
2. I have to abound by it
3. My family is God's design. It is my pledge, it is my commitment to keep those family members, united lifetime! I pledge to this!

Swamiji, further says - all the family members should have this ideology of TAAC:

1. T - Tolerance
2. A - Acceptance
3. A - Apologies
4. C - Compromise

To couple this with an example, he says - Things will not be at the right place always, Things will not go your way always. 

One should be calm & have a sense of acceptance. In Gujarati, સ્વિકારની ભાવના રાખવાણી

To give another example, Swamiji asks the crowd, "How would you react if your spouse had bought & changed the curtains in your home?"

Some replied - "Wow", others - "Looks good", many -" આ કેમ કર્યું? or  કેતલા નુ અવ્યુ?". Sawmiji said - most of us in reality get frustrated & dispute on the action taken by the spouse. 

He then advised, in such petty scenarios, don't stress.

1. Let it be the family member's choice
2. You always decide on other stuff like - your business, car, insurance co., etc. Do they complain? No... right!
3. It is completely fine if the spouse decides & takes action on the "Curtains"

My 2 cents - This is a win-win, you do what you're good at, let them do what they're good at. Don't decide on each thing, and act as if you are the boss. This way, it will be one thing off your checklist, they will feel inclusive, conducive, interested, thereby increasing the team dynamics enabling a better personal relation & the work will also happen at god speed.

 

I would like to quote Mr. Manu Shah (MSI) here, on delegation, he says - Learn to trust your team members even if they can make 80% decisions in the way you like, because even if you were to make the same decision multiple times, you will yourself be at 80% as compared to the previous times. Humans are not perfect. Instead of being stuck at 100 (just you). For example, why not 80 x 50 = 4000 (Instead of 100, (just you)).  Learn to trust, in this context - it should be natural & from both sides

To close, Swamij says - સંપી ને, સમજી ને સાથ રેહશો તો સુખી થાસો

Then Swamiji shares a few facts about divorces which surprise the whole gathering. He goes - globally, daily, 1900 people get divorced, annually the number has reached the magnificent but unfortunate number of 700,000. Unbelievable, but true!

He quotes John McEnroe, from his autobiography - You Cannot be Serious on the reasons for divorces:

1. Temperamental Differences
2. Career Pressures
3. Parenting Differences
4. Infidelity
5. Lack of Maturity

To elaborate on infidelity, he says, there should be a solid commitment in any relationship. At any cost, one should not get involved in extramarital affairs

1. Anything wrong you do in the darkest hour of night, has to see the light of the day!
2. A touch of spirituality makes all the difference
3. લક્ષ્મણ રેખા પાર કરો તો,બાધ આવે, આવે ને આવે જ!

Then he shares about a great approach to family bonding - Ghar Sabha. 

In a nutshell:

1. Weekly 30-minute gathering of all family members
2. Preferably post-dinner
3. No TV & other distractions
4. Flow of events:
1. ભગવાન નું સ્મરણ 
2. Discussion on Spiritual topics
3. આરતી/પ્રાર્થના

Benefits of Ghar Sabha:

1. The temperament of all the family members will drastically change for good
2. Psycho - Neuro capacity will increase by chanting the holy name of god.
3. Team dynamics within the family will elevate
4. This will eventually orchestrate global peace

You have to add spiritual values to the family in order to be successful & be together till the last breath of your life

ઝગડી ને છૂટું પડવું તો પ્રાણિયોં ને પણ આવડે છે 

સંપી ને, સમજી ને રહેવુ - મનુષ્ય ને આવડે. 

સંપી ને, સમજી ને રહેશુ તો સુખી રેહશુ

To continue on the importance of being human, Swamiji quotes the book "The Human side of Enterprise" by Douglas McGregor

The humanness (coincidentally, one of the core pillars of Duke MEM, sorry for going off track. Go Duke!) factor is what determines:

1. The rise & fall of both - Businesses & Families
• For Businesses:
• The senior management should create a positive environment for everyone
• An environment, which is conducive, secure, full of growth opportunities
• Make them feel worthy & capable
• Give constructive feedback & praise them for good things
• If the employee feels that the atmosphere is good & the management is supportive, then, the sky is the limit for both the company & the employee..!
• My 2 cents - from a recent podcast. If you feel that an employee is not meeting expectations even after years with you, it is your failure & not the employee's. What were you doing all the while? 
• Good environment & encouraging words can change the dynamics of any workspace
• Don't - તારા થી કાઈ કામ બરાબર નહીં થાય, તુ તો ના કામો છે. 
• Instead - તને આ ક્ષેત્રમાં થોડું વધારે કામ કરવાની જરૂર છે, હું તને મદદ કરીશ. તુ જલ્દી જ નિપુણ બની જસે

• For Familes:
• Similar to companies, the elders (infact everyone) show create an inclusive environment
• Postive things should be spoken
• Just like the employee example , this is widely spoken in homes - "તને અટલુ નાથી અવડતુ, એ xx તારા થી વધુ સારો છે". This should not at all done, as it causes a deep negative impact
• The law of attraction is amazing. Speak positively, even if the person has not reached that level yet; they will definitely reach there soon. Such is the power of positivity & appreciation

Even if you own Million, Billions or Trillions from your enterprise, but you failed as a family person - you will be tagged as a Faliure..!

The proudest moment is - 3+ generations of family staying together in the same home in Harmony, Unity & Happiness.

Closing - I pledge that, without any expectations of reciprocation, I will do all the above 100% 

Punch Lines:

1. If you know your role in the problem, the problem is half solved!
2. Love is unconditional support, unconditional help & unconditional existence
3. Don't teach your children - What?  Teach them - Why? & How? along with problem solving & consequences (if this, then that)
4. If you are very tight on discipline & ethics, no one can defeat you. If you are not, someone, someday, can catch hold of you!
5. My family is God's design. 
6. Team Dynamics is the key to the success of any Enterprise or Family.

Books Suggested:

1. The Trillion Dollar Coach - Bill Campbell
2. You Cannot be Serious - John McEnroe
3. Parenting Teens with Love & Logic - Foster Cline & Jim Fay
4. The Human side of Enterprise - Douglas McGregor

- D K Kamdar